Nero fiddled while Rome burned; we can all sip our way through the debates, right?

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Had we put this game together before the first presidential debate, where a confident Mitt Romney smirked his way through half-truths on everything from the size of the deficit to taxes to health care, where Democrats waited and waited (oh how they waited) for Barack Obama circa 2008 to just show up, and where the Twittersphere implored a barely conscious Jim Lehrer to “sack up” while moderating the spectacle…  

Well, we all would have been drunk off our asses within 10 minutes. 

Everything in moderation, people. Rather than taking full gulps as you play the Weekly’s Presidential Debate Drinking Game, take sips. Every time Romney invokes his sudden love of the middle-class, make it a sip. Every time the president references the auto industry, make it a sip. Every time someone at your viewing party yells “Oh you are so full of s**t!” at either candidate? Make it a sip.  

And take comfort in the knowledge that either way, it will all be over soon. 

Use this *guide* for the next presidential debate

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Presidential debate Drinking Game

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This article is a disgrace. If you were to walk to the front door of the Weekly, you'd see some words written on a mustard wall. A mission statement. The mission of the Monterey County Weekly is to inspire independent thinking and conscious action, etc... By turning our election process into a drinking game? I don't feel inspired, and neither does your boring premise. But I don't want to be just a negative voice. How about 5 viable alternative takes. Still fun, but more inspired. 1) A fantasy election. Draft your candidates, 5 points for a win, 3 points for a smear campaign, 1 for a provocative/viral statement, -3 for a lost debate. 2) Egyptian Rat Politics. You sit in a room with someone that politically disagrees with you and a deck of cards. Every time there's a dispute, you each pull a card, winner is proved correct by the same force that informs the i-ching. In the case of a tie, first person to slap the deck wins. 3) A good old fashion bare knuckles boxing match. No need to involve politics, just a fight for its own sake (worked for Pitt and Norton). 4) A game of political stud-finder. When a talking point is questionable, possibly a fallacy or just plain irrelevant, you slam your head through the drywall in your living room. Hit a stud, and the point is moot. 5) Sit with your back against a tree and just breathe. More useful to the world, inspiring, and conscious than the debate, this article and any church or political circus.