Extra Helping of Squid 1.28.13
Squid's Senatorial Super Bowl Scoop
Monday, January 28, 2013
The Big Game…Squid loves to gamble. And win: When it comes to horse races of eight or less Squid never loses. One ticket per tentacle insures victory, if not financial gain.
U.S. Senators are also known to throw down a wager, especially when regional championship status is on the line.
In a letter from Maryland Senators Barbara Mikulski and Ben Cardin to California Senators Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein, the chowderheads proposed a bet on Sunday’s Super Bowl between the San Francisco 49ers and the Baltimore Ravens.
“We won the AFC Championship, and now we're off to Louisiana to stomp the San Francisco 49ers and win the Super Bowl!” the letter reads. “The 49ers may ask 'Who's got it better than us?' All across Baltimore they'll say, 'Charm City, that's who!'”
The Left Coast Senators fired back, accepting the challenge.
“We were happy to receive your letter and are delighted to join in a wager on Super Bowl XLVII. We have full confidence that the San Francisco 49ers will strike gold - and the Baltimore Ravens will flutter away in defeat - as we claim our sixth Super Bowl title.”
Squid’s statocysts perked up in anticipation of how much they would wager. But Squid soon discovered the bet will be regional booze, seafood, cheese and cookies.
The Ravens camp offers up “delicious Faidley's crab cakes, Berger cookies and a cold bottle of Heavy Seas beer to wash down the delicious taste of defeat.”
(It bears mentioning that these bird brains forgot that if they do have to send this package of goodies, it would be enjoyed by the victorious party, but Squid digresses.)
The gamble-savvy Californians counter-offered with “Dungeness crab, Napa Valley wine, San Francisco’s finest sourdough bread and a selection of Northern California cheeses. We feel that it is only fitting that crab is on the menu since you are likely to be feeling very crabby after a tough loss by your Ravens.”