Brand New… It’s not easy to admit, but Squid’s piggy bank hit a rough patch recently and Squid filed for bankruptcy. It’s all the fault of some loan sharks who figured out a way to evade Squid’s ink clouds. Now, they have the gall to demand that Squid build up a personal brand and they’re even suggesting that Squid adopt an unspeakable new moniker (“Calamari”).
These sharks must be taking cues from the creditors of Pacific Gas & Electric. A group of them outlined a plan on June 25 to pull the utility out of bankruptcy with a $30 billion investment. The cash infusion would help pay for liabilities from recent wildfire damage without raising electricity rates. But the lifeline comes with pressure on PG&E to change its name. The creditors proposed to reorganize the company under the new brand Golden State Power Light & Gas Co. But before the new name is adopted, the plan recommends holding a contest to solicit alternative suggestions from PG&E employees.
The utility has its own plan for how to emerge out of bankruptcy. Maybe they should just hire Squid, because Squid has some ideas: California Fyre Festival. Snap, Crackle and Pop (or is that already trademarked?). California Overforestation Control. Burning Cash Company. Sparky and Co. Or the one that surely PG&E customers would choose: Powerey-McPowerFace.
Oopsie Daisy… Squid’s least favorite public events around Monterey County are the ones where elected officials opine for too long. Squid turns Squid’s attention from their rambling remarks to the beads of sweat forming on anxious staffers’ faces as they check their watches. Squid was pleased that at the Blue Zones Project Monterey County kickoff celebration June 29 (see story, p. 16), the likes of Salinas Mayor Joe Gunter, County Supervisor Luis Alejo and financial sponsors – Taylor Farms CEO Bruce Taylor, Salinas Valley Memorial Hospital CEO Pete Delgadoand Montage Health reps – were onstage at Sherwood Hall, but kept to the side.
Instead Blue Zones author and founder Dan Buettner gave an entertaining speech to a diverse audience of more than 100 people, including young children, on the public health initiative. TheNational Geographic journalist let slip a few PG-rated expletives. At the very end, he kicked the rating up to PG-13. “You guys are the early adopters, you guys are the early contagions,” he told the audience. “If you do it and have a good experience, then tell your friends about it, then it will spread like an STD on a Saturday night!” A few on stage squirmed in their seats. Buettner sheepishly apologized with a boyish grin.
There were some snacks on offer, but one thing Squid did not see at the launch was condoms and bananas. Instead, there was just an awkward moment.