Fireworks on the Fourth of July aren’t equally fun for everyone.

Pam Marino here. I’ll never see fireworks again without thinking about Seaside resident Robert Fullmer. I interviewed Fullmer back in February for a story about how a change in military health care insurance cut off some veterans from their therapists who were dropped as providers.

Fullmer enlisted in the Navy and volunteered to go to the Persian Gulf War in 1990. After fighting in fierce battles he developed post traumatic stress disorder, in addition to suffering from bipolar disorder. 

“Coming back to normal society, fireworks immediately were out of the question, and I loved fireworks,” Fullmer told me. He described episodes of hiding in closets or under beds when the loud booms started during his time living in San Francisco. He’d “disappear” into his own memories. “I was back in the past hearing bombs and planes.”

The first year he moved to Seaside was traumatic. “It’s like a fricking war here on the Fourth of July,” he told me. The first two holidays he locked himself in his room and sobbed. Thankfully the therapy he received helped him improve. Last year he forced himself to go outside and experience the booms and bangs. He sat in the cacophony and glittering lights until he couldn’t take it anymore. 

I love fireworks myself, but I struggle with what I know they do to people like Fullmer, as well as pets and wildlife. (I had an energetic 60-pound New Zealand shepherd mix once that became a quivering mass every Fourth.)

I don’t see us as a culture giving up on fireworks anytime soon, but I hope some people will reconsider how much they use and definitely nix the powerful illegal explosives. Using them is not just bad for people and pets, it can be expensive and dangerous for users. I spoke with Seaside Fire Chief Mary Gutierrez yesterday, who told me her department is ready to deploy drones in search of offenders. As always first responders will be at the ready in case disaster strikes.

Seaside isn’t messing around on its zero-tolerance policy for illegal fireworks. (So-called “safe and sane” fireworks are legal.) As Managing Editor Mary Duan reported this week in a story about local fireworks laws, those found with illegal fireworks in Seaside could face fines of between $500 and $50,000 and up to a year and jail.

As Seaside residents know very well, the fireworks start weeks before the holiday weekend, which is why Fullmer was wide awake at 2:30 this morning unable to fall back asleep and struggling with anxiety. He was tired when we spoke on the phone this afternoon.

“I think because of help through my therapist I’m much better equipped to deal with it,” Fullmer says. “I haven’t had any flashbacks or blackouts, which is huge for me.”

He is going to head out into the fray again on Sunday night, his husband by his side as moral support until he can’t take the blasts anymore.