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SQUIDFRY 12.01.2: Nice Rack

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NICE RACK… If there’s one thing Squid loves, it’s a good product at a great price (Exhibit A: this newspaper, available for $0). Exhibit B is that famous Two-Buck Chuck at Trader Joe’s.

But when Squid oozed over to the Pacific Grove store to re-supply the wine “cellar” (that’s just a box under Squid’s bed) for Thanksgiving, Squid couldn’t find the Weekly in its customary location outside. The store manager reports that they need the space for holiday wreaths, but the chatter among employees suggests a different reason. All the news racks – including those carrying the Carmel Pine Cone and Monterey Bay Parent magazine – were removed after the Pacific Grove Press published an opinion piece in late October claiming the “The Woke Mob in Pacific Grove” had stolen their news rack from Trader Joe’s. When the P.G. Press complained to management at the store, they solved the problem by removing all the newspapers. Who this mob is and why they are interested in this fledgling screed sheet in America’s crankiest hometown Squid couldn’t begin to guess, but the deal is you don’t steal, and you don’t suppress ideas you oppose. The First Amendment isn’t important when it comes to protecting the speech we agree with – it’s there precisely to allow buffoons to have their say.

The management at Trader Joe’s does say that if they get requests from customers for the return of the newspapers, they will revisit the situation after the holidays. Should you find yourself shopping for some peanut butter-filled pretzels or Two-Buck Chuck, Squid humbly suggests you ask them to bring back the papers – all of them, even the lame ones.

GET COZY… Squid loves science and the studies that scientists turn out to reveal hidden (or not-so-hidden) realities about our world. Recently, the majority of the studies hitting Squid’s inbox seem to be marketing ploys originating from websites like “price4limo.com” or “kindness.org” (in collaboration with NextDoor and Verizon). But no matter, a marketing study is better than no study at all. So Squid was very content to curl up in Squid’s lair and read the latest study by mydatingadviser.com – a ranking of the 170 coziest small towns in America. The first thing Squid noticed was that these dating/data wizards seem to have given significant weight to the weather when ranking “cozy” – the coziest small towns are places like Stockholm, Wisconsin, Stowe, Vermont and Stanley, Idaho. In other words, cold. So naturally, the Central Coast’s small towns did not fare well on the list.

That said, three Monterey County towns do appear. Carmel ranked #92 (of 170), Monterey #121 and – last but certainly not least – Seaside came in at #133. Joke’s on mydatingadviser.com – everyone knows Squid’s lair is the coziest place around.

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