NO FISHING... Everybody--Squid included--loves calamari. Squid can't blame 'em. Not only is Squid one handsome cephalopod, but fry Squid up in beer batter and Squid's pure dining bliss. It also explains why Squid has lost many friends along the line--the fishing line, that is. It's about time the feds, err, the state stepped in. Last week, the California Department of Fish and Game released its latest draft of the Market Squid Fishery Management Plan, intended to end commercial overfishing for squid. It's a big huge deal to Squid (for obvious reasons), but also for fishermen because squid has been the only unregulated fishery for-ev-ver. Not anymore. Squid thinks it's about time for California to come up with a new marine life delicacy. Like, say, sea otters.

NO COASTAL COMMISSION... Sure he's an easy target, but Squid loves to squirt ink at freshman Salinas Senator Jeff Denham. He's a right-wing, anti-choice Republican. He sends out silly press releases. And he wants to axe the "corrupt" (his word) California Coastal Commission's funding. Last week, Assemblymembers John Laird--who represents the Monterey Bay area--and Rebecca Cohn--a Saratoga Dem who hopes to win Sen. Bruce McPherson's soon-to-be vacant seat in the state Senate--criticized Denham's proposal. JD says cutting the commission--which costs the state about $10.5 million annually--will help put a dent in the nearly $38 billion budget deficit. Squid thinks that's not his true motive. But if Denham is really serious about saving the state's money, maybe he can convince his Republican colleagues to get off the recall Gov. Gray Davis bandwagon, which would save California about $30 million--and save Squid countless hours of trying to pen original Total Recall jokes.

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NO TOTAL RECALL JOKES... Speaking of, Secretary of State Kevin Shelly is expected to announce on July 23 whether the gubernatorial recall petition drive has qualified for a vote, which could happen as early as Sept. 30. And then the circus will officially begin. Los Angeles Mayor Richard Riordan looks like the top choice for Republicans right now, with Arnold Schwarzenegger in a close second. But the Terminator has said he won't run without the support of wife Maria Shriver, who's been a little press shy of late. Maybe she's worried that colorful tales of her hubbie's alleged womanizing, pot-smoking, nudie-posing past will come to light. Maybe it's just Squid, but isn't Jingle All The Way reason enough not to vote for the Incredible Hunk? In a recent poll, only 4 percent of voters chose US Rep. Darrell Issa, the billionaire So Cal Republican who's financing the recall campaign. Squid bets Issa chalks this one up to a colossal waste of money. Nutball Green Party candidate Peter Camejo recently threw his hat in the race, and Squid wonders if any of the much-speculated-about Dems will follow suit. Sen. Dianne Feinstein comes to mind, as does the Central Coast's own Golden Boy and former Clinton White House chief of staff Leon Panetta. Squid's holding out for Panetta, and looking forward to the wild ride ahead.

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