SquidFry: Re-examine all you have been told—Dismiss what insults your Soul. —Walt Whitman (1819-1870)

RIDDLE ME A BALLOT MEASURE… Untangling isn’t a big deal to Squid. Knots happen, as every cephalopod knows. But the General Plan debacle? Now there’s a doozie for even a ten-legged critter.

Measure A will ask voters straight up: you want the slow-growth plan? Yes or no? Measure C asks a similar question: You wanna adopt the Supe-approved GPU-4? Yes or no? And then there’s Measure B: You wanna repeal the Supe-approved GPU-4? So “yes” means “no,” right? Right.

Squid’s not alone in confusion. Couple weeks ago, KING CITY MAYOR JEFF PEREIRA decided he’d like a hard copy of the plan—something to carry around in his flannel-shirt pocket for reference when residents asked, “What the…?” Pereira knew he could get the online PDF version. Heck, he’s got that one bookmarked. But he wanted the old-fashioned paper kind. So he hoofed it over to County Administration.

The exchange went something like this: Pereira: “Yo. Copy of GPU-4, please.” County worker: “Copy of the who?”

Four desks and seven worker-bees later, a pieced-together copy of some version of some plan was shoved in front of His Honor with a reassuring, “I think this is it.” It wasn’t. Pereira ended up walking out with nothing. “It’s freakin’ ridiculous,” Pereira says.

What’s the saying? Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to—pitch so many flippin’ different versions and confusing questions to voters, not even the staff can keep up? Yep, that’s it.

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INDECISION 2007… Speaking of the June ballot, it got even messier with the addition of Measure D, the BUTTERFLY VILLAGE referendum that aims to kill developer MOE NOBARI’s golf-and-residential project. On Monday, April 2, County Supes followed US District Court JUDGE JAMES WARE’s order and placed the development on the ballot, where it now joins the three General Plan-related ballot measures. All Major Land-Use Ballot Measures All The Time—Squid likey that slogan. In fact, there’s only one way (in Squid’s humble opinion) that the June special election could get any better: Measure E. SHOULD CARMEL VALLEY incorporate?

Sure, the deadline has passed. Maybe, instead of collecting signatures and the like, incorporation proponents could simply bribe Acting Registrar of Voters CLAUDIO VALENZUELA? Wouldn’t he like to be Mayor of the Town of Carmel Valley?

Sadly, Squid’s fantasy ballot doesn’t look like it’s going to happen—not in June. At least Squid can take solace in the nasty campaign ads coming soon to Squid’s TV.

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