Squid Speaks

Drinking the Kool-Aid…Outside of the usual snacking, napping and reading regimen, Squid didn’t have any grand plans this past weekend other than a few things.

One was to watch the World’s Ugliest Dog contest (Squid caved after Squid’s English bulldog Rosco P. Coltrane wouldn’t stop barking about it all week) that was held Saturday night in Petaluma. This year’s winner, Zsa Zsa, is a beastly 9-year-old English bulldog that immediately captured Rosco’s heart, and now he won’t stop slobbering all over the lair in tortured longing.

The other break from the norm was that Squid did Squid’s best to stay off of Twitter, the preferred communication platform of our current President of the United States. Squid can’t stomach the bile seven days a week.

And that bile isn’t just coming from our president, or the countless trolls and Russian bots polluting the discourse. Some of it is coming from one of our local elected officials—Marina Coast Water District board member (and former Marina city councilman) Howard Gustafson.

This is the same Gustafson who, when local Surfrider Foundation board member Ximena Waissbluth sent out an email in the fall of 2015 announcing an event about local sand mining, replied with an email that read: “Be serious, go fuck yourselves. GO TRUMP! We’re coming…”

So when Squid got a tip that Gustafson had a Twitter account, Squid sniffed it out (@Gus231), and unsurprisingly, was aghast at what appeared on the screen.

Like this tweet, which Gustafson fired off June 18, at the height of the migrant family separation crisis: “Hundreds of kids held in Texas warehouse; You're right! Send them back to their Countries of origin with their lousy parents and then we have to rough up these pathetic Latin American Countries so they take care of their citizens. Stop Mexico…”

Or this one, from June 15: “White House defends border separations: 'It's biblical to enforce the law'; Return these children to their parents across the BORDER,,,BUILD THAT F*CKING WALL!!!  Anytime a Democrat quotes the Bible tell them to get F'd. It is morale to send them back across BORDER>.”


Or from yesterday, June 24: “James Comey Says He's So Ashamed Of Child Detentions He Talked Of Posing As Canadian; I think most of America is ashamed of Comey, FBI, NSA, CIA, BUSH, OBAMA, CLINTONs, et al. AND, you all need a verbal ass woopin'.”

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The curious thing about Gustafson’s Twitter account is that he appears to be screaming into a void—he has only 18 followers—and only follows six accounts. The tweets also mostly fall into a formulaic pattern: News headline; Gustafson rant.

For these reasons, Squid considered the account might be fake, or maybe hacked. Squid’s colleague reached out to Gustafson via email, and through Marina Coast General Manager Keith Van Der Maaten (who is aware of Gustafson’s account), and did not hear back.

Squid’s guess is that the account is real, especially because it contains some tweets that break the formula, like a June 23 reply to @RepJohnDelaney: “I heard you speak on C-Span. Are you an idiot? Didn't we finally get rid of Obama the Great Divider? The Democrat Party and your judges are the problem and hurting most Americans.”

It’s all enough to make Squid cue up the DVR, curl up into a ball and re-watch the ugliest dog contest with Rosco.

Speaking of unity: Maybe when Gustafson is up for re-election this fall, a uniter with friendlier rhetoric would consider a go. Maybe Zsa Zsa?

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(2) comments

Dan Reznick

Once again Squid puts squid ink to excellent use!

reality bytez

i almost never agree with you, but after looking at that clown's twitter feed, i think mcwd should demand that he have a psych eval.

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