Squidfry 02.23.23: Fault One

FAULT ONE… Despite Squid’s outsized creativity, Squid’s never had the chance to name anything except for Squid’s beloved bulldog, Rosco P. Coltrane. And because humans, in their infinite wisdom, don’t ever turn to cephalopods for advice, that will likely remain the case. (Like, who thought it was a good idea to suddenly add an “e” to the end of Seaside’s Campus Town project? Is Squid really supposed to associate a modern apartment complex with Elizabethan-era England?)

But Squid nevertheless follows along when something is being named, because in a name there can also be a story. So Squid has been quite curious what the new, yet-to-be-built Monterey County Superior Court courthouse in Seaside will be called. Could it be a nod to Seaside’s founder, Dr. John Roberts? Or perhaps a former mayor, county supervisor or even state legislator? All of those seem plausible. Or maybe it could be regionally focused, like “Monterey Peninsula” courthouse? Squid could also see a nod to Seaside’s history as a West Coast civil rights hub in the 1960s, so perhaps Martin Luther King Jr. courthouse? Or maybe an ode to Seaside’s past, present and indefinite future: Auto-town USA courthouse? Drive-thru City courthouse?

Well, Seaside Mayor Ian Oglesby sent a letter Feb. 3 to Presiding Judge Pamela Butler, informing her the Seaside City Council proposes the name be: Seaside Superior Court.

Clap. Clap. Clap.

FAULT TWO… Speaking of infinite wisdom, the folks at LawnStarter, a company devoted to landscaping, pest control and research into the depths of the American soul, have published yet another study. In this case, the folks who can guide you to the proper tools for aerating a lawn turned to aerating wine. They found that Monterey County ranks 10th on a list of Best California Wine Counties.

How did they come to such a conclusion? According to a press release sent to Squid’s colleague, through a rigorous study of “publicly available data” – read: Google – on such factors as number of wine producers and blenders, nice accommodations, the availability of tours and “consumer ratings.”

Now, Squid could see where actual tasting might confuse the data. Squid’s colleague tells of a Lake County (no. 12 on the list; their accommodations are pretty lackluster) winemaker who admitted the winery’s Lake County Cabernet Sauvignon was far better than its Napa version, but at less than half the price.

Name recognition matters.

Squid has a suggestion for local winemakers if they wish to improve their ranking in such a scholarly report. It’s folly to worry about quality wines, clearly. Instead, spend more time clicking the keyboards.

Unless LawnStarter’s methodology is steeped in fertilizer, this will put Monterey in the top three.