Squidfry 05.11.23: Hard Party

HARD PARTY… Squid normally prefers a Saturday night snuggled up in the lair, but sometimes an invitation to ooze out on the town comes Squid’s way. This time, it’s an invitation – delivered in hard copy, via anemone mail (the underwater equivalent of the terrestrial snail mail) – to attend a benefit for the Monterey Bay National Marine Sanctuary Foundation, a Santa Cruz-based nonprofit that supports the Monterey Bay National Marine Sanctuary. It has a mission that includes protecting Squid’s lair, so Squid’s interest was piqued.

The “Sea Stars Celebration,” set for 5-10pm on Saturday, Aug. 5, offers a chance to “celebrate our Sanctuary sea stars” (cute) with dinner and drinks. The price of a ticket is forthcoming. The venue is the Tehama Golf Club in Carmel Valley, described on the invitation as “a private community born from Clint Eastwood’s vision of sustainability.”

Huh? Last Squid checked, an 18-hole golf course and 2,000-acre, sprawling, gated, luxury community in the wildland-urban interface is a perfect example of the type of development that is not sustainable. At least if you want to build like that in Squid’s neighborhood in the sanctuary, good luck – even if you have star power.

Squid thought the “Sanctuary sea stars” would be stars of environmental protection. Maybe they just mean movie stars. Either way, when Squid thinks of Eastwood and his outsized cultural impact, it has nothing to do with sustainability. So unfortunately, Squid sends Squid’s regrets and will instead look elsewhere. There must be another organization that can go ahead and make Squid’s day.

KEEPING CURRENT… Squid’s jalopy still manages to sputter and wheeze down the road, which is all Squid needs to get to points beyond oozing distance, such as WeatherTech Raceway Laguna Seca. While an AM-FM stereo is the extent of technological advancement in the jalopy, Squid finds the new hybrid-power engines in IMSA race cars both futuristic and fascinating – and a bit frightening. Because high-voltage electricity is coursing to the drivetrain, it’s possible for the body of the car to become charged if something goes wrong. An official at Laguna Seca tells Squid’s colleague that warning lights were installed on the new hybrid cars. Green means all is good. Red and it’s fried calamari. If neither color is displayed, it means “we’re not sure.”

In Squid’s mind, “not sure” translates as a definite red under the circumstances – unless you just happen to carry a pair of gloves that can withstand a huge zap. Drivers don’t, so they’ve been trained to leap from the car without touching the body and ground at the same time.

Squid will keep the jalopy chugging along. There’s no uncertainty between electricity and water.