CLOSED FOR REPAIRS… Because of Highway 1’s new status as a “most beautiful road trip” on an Instagram-pics-per-mile basis (see last week’s column), Squid was thinking that perhaps it’d be best to take beloved bulldog Rosco P. Coltrane and the old jalopy down the coast for a midnight joyride. But then, on July 1, Squid received the news – Bixby Bridge will be closed overnight for three weeks, starting July 12 at 9pm, for needed repairs. Well, nevermind the midnight joyride – 9pm is barely past sunset.

But wait, Squid thought, surely this will cause an issue for someone. People do live and work in Big Sur (not just take Instagram photos there), right? Then on July 6, Squid got an update. The bridge closing time had been pushed back an hour, to 10pm.

Caltrans spokesperson Kevin Drabinski tells Squid’s colleague they immediately heard from businesses. Turns out both patrons and workers at these businesses may need to commute past 9pm. Squid wonders if the Caltrans team gets tucked in by 8pm every night – this one seems like it should’ve been obvious.

The contractor “was happy to accommodate” a later closure time, Drabinski says, but sadly, it means no midnight cruises for Squid and Rosco. At least not until July 30 when construction is due to be complete.

TAKE IT OFF… Squid gets a lot of email promoting obscure holidays (Squid protests every National Calamari Day and is trying to make National Cephalopod Appreciation Day official). But one holiday last week piqued Squid’s interest: National Nude Day, allegedly celebrated on July 14, with a lengthy promotional email from an Italian marketing firm TUI Group encouraging Squid to celebrate, err, cover this day.

It came to Squid’s inbox because “nearly half” (that’s three out of nine, to be exact) of “America’s top nude beaches” are in California. And there, ranked No. 6, is Pfeiffer Beach in Big Sur, so ranked because of its 41,567 Instagram mentions. “Most nude sunbathers make their way to the north end of the beach beyond the rocks to take in the sun,” according to TUI’s announcement.

But wait – Pfeiffer Beach is most definitely not clothing-optional last Squid checked, not to mention it’s barely ever sunny or warm enough there to want to take off any layers.

Maybe the naturists promoting National Nude Day are planning to get stuck south of Bixby Bridge during overnight construction work (see above), although the beach is closed overnight. “Naturists believe that the human body is most beautiful without any clothing,” according to the press release.

That might also be truest under cover of darkness.

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