FACE IT… Squid shlepped to the Monterey County Superior Courthouse to make sure an old fix-it ticket Squid was cleared. Squid plans on running for office, and wanted to make sure a minor slip didn’t become headline news at the hands of Squid’s former bestie-turned-rival, Flapjack the Octopus. Squid hit the public computer to look up Squid’s file, but typed in the wrong case number and went down a rabbit hole of intrigue involving Monterey-based dermatologist Christian Barnard, M.D.

Barnard is being prosecuted for felony “special circumstances” theft for allegedly taking fixtures “with intent to defraud” – to the tune of the oddly precise number $53,612.94 – from a mortgaged building on Alturas Court in Monterey. His attorney, Larry Biegel, says Barnard is an “extremely reputable doctor… and the charges against him are nothing short of bizarre.”

Barnard, he says, was at this father’s funeral when the property was ransacked: “This is a guy who is innocent and we will take this to the Hague and show them he didn’t do anything wrong.”

Skincare on the Peninsula is serious business (judging from the sometimes startled looks on people’s faces – Squid sees you, Botoxers) so here’s hoping the doc figures his stuff out, lest faces around town start their slow yet inevitable decline.

BIDDING WAR… Squid’s ideas for earning extra income this summer have been dashed by the pandemic. Lemonade stand? Too risky. Babysitting squidlets? The adults are all at home. Squid thought about bidding for a county contract, and cruised over to see open requests for qualifications. Squid is a slob, so bidding on a janitorial contract is a no-go, but then Squid saw the perfect opportunity: Monterey County is hiring a consultant to prepare a report on the county’s Covid-19 emergency response, to tell them what they did right and wrong.

Not mentioned is a six-month contract the county has with TMD Creative, for a retainer of $10,000/month, to do marketing around Covid-19 prevention. To date, TMD has placed nine billboards, wrapped 15 Monterey-Salinas Transit buses and is preparing to distribute pamphlets with messaging in Spanish and English. “We have a fairly high confidence level we’re reaching a very high percentage of the population in Monterey County, as well as people coming to visit, which was a strategy in the placement,” says TMD’s President Nick Pasculli.

Squid wants to know if there’s a way to measure the outreach effectiveness, but will settle for “fairly high” confidence – while noting a growing rate of infection. Squid is already working up Squid’s response to the next county RFQ, trying to land a gig as a consultant to determine how effective all the consultants are.

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